Inside I Was Just Like HEAVENLY FATHER- BUT HOW????

August 24, 2015

Ich grüße euch aus Leipzig!

This Friday I reach my year mark. I have become very thoughtful about the past year, but I'll probably send a longer email next week after I am officially one year out. Oh the suspense.

Sooooo this week was tiring. It all led up to our little field trip to Berlin on Thursday. 

Monday we went to an American family in the ward to work on personal progress with the mom and daughter, who is still working on adjusting to life here. They are both so sweet and being in their home makes me feel so at home!

Tuesday it rained cats and dogs. We called a tooooon of people from our area book, and either found out that they have no interest, or they don't recall ever giving their number out and want to know how we got it :) some were pretty angry. Sometimes one just has to hang up...ha!

Wednesday-service. The lady there told us that we always have such good moods and that we are just the sweetest. Oh man all we do is household chores and she is just so kind! It is nice hearing some verbal appreciation every once in a while :) Ate döner met with Holger, and our joint teach came this time! It was a pretty easy going lesson. He just needs to take on the plan of God, and stop wondering how he can go further on his own way. I know that the plan of salvation is for all of us, and reaches and satisfies our needs, despite the different lives we all may lead.  Holger brought ice cream this time. He is so cool!!

Thursday- mission tour in Berlin!!!! We had to be there at 8 to practice with the choir. Which meant waking up at like 4 laaaaame but worth it. On the train ride up the scenery was gorgeous. Lots of misty fields and forests. I was almost convinced that I would see Mr. Darcy suddenly come into view. (Just kidding, who even is that??...)

Sooo with a mission tour a General Authority comes and speaks to us at a conference. Like a band taking a tour around the mission...ONLY BETTER, (wow, see how much I have changed?! haha.)  Elder Johnson was really a solid man. As he started talking I was suddenly filled with feelings of failure, and inadequacy. Things are going slow in our area and I've been struggling to keep my spirits up. And then after a few minutes he asked, " Do you ever feel inadequate? Like you’re just not good enough?" and inside I was just like HEAVENLY FATHER- BUT HOW???? Oh man so he continued to address us all on why these feelings come and how to overcome them. It was just for me! What a tender mercy that was to have a deep concern addressed in such a perfect setting. He talked much about the enabling power of the Atonement. He straight up told us, that in life we are all inadequate. And it's true! Alone we are nothing. Too often I try avoiding such thoughts, trying to justify my weaknesses or figure out what is wrong with me, etc. But Elder Johnson told us that we CANNOT spend time worrying about how incapable or weak we are. It is just a fact of life! It does not matter that we are weak, because we have the enabling power of the Atonement. We do not and should not go through life alone, leaning on our own abilities. I should not try to not be inadequate, rather I should start straight off by applying the Atonement in all that I do. Like in Ether 12:27, the Lord has GIVEN us these weaknesses. And He will help us. Coming to earth and being in a natural and weak state is like falling into water. I am wet. There is nothing I can do to change the fact that this has happened. Instead of trying to comfort myself by denying the fact that I am wet, or get upset at myself for the way things are, I can dry off. Why spend time worrying about the fact that I am soaked when I can move on! See what I am saying. If not, sorry, it makes sense in my head. Heavenly Father and Christ are both ALREADY AWARE that we are small and simple, and much of the time inadequate, but that is not what determines our salvation. They care more that we reach out for help that we try to change. It's all a part of the plan. What a life, what a life. I know that if we reach out for help, we will feel the power of the Atonement strengthen and build us up. 

I am really struggling in this city, but I love it here. Leipzig is the perfect place to visit in the summer. There is a huge market plaza, lots of shopping, tooooons of cafes, and cool people. 

This Friday Sister Reed and I are going to live fancy and get spaghetti Eis (google a pic) at some cafe for my year mark. I am excited :)

I have never been so tired!!!!! Sister Reed and I have vowed that the phrase, " I am tired" is now forbidden. haha it's hard but tis a good idea. 

Well that is all that's in my head right now. I love you wish you a looovely week. Eat ice cream on the 28th :)

alles liebe

Sister Madison Mittleman

Mission Conference- Elder Brimhall & Madison

Zone Conference with Sis Reed